A Long, But Entertaining Entry...

So we went to rainy Xi’an. We arrived at our hostel late on the 5th. The hostel was truly awesome, and I felt so at home there that it made me forget that I was in China. The next morning, we ate a delicious European breakfast (baked beans, an egg, fruit, and toast with jam) and then set off for the day’s adventure to Cuihua Shan (Shan means Mountain). We never got there. At the bus stop, we met three Mexicans (2 guys & 1 girl who are studying in Shanghai) who were heading to the Terracotta Warriors. Together we boarded the same bus, completely unaware of how wrong all of us were. Soon, we were informed that they were on the right bus, but going the wrong direction, and that we were going the right direction, but on the wrong bus. We decided that staying together would be best and all boarded the correct bus, heading towards the Terracotta Warriors. These three ended up being our Xi’an friends and really made the trip enjoyable. Together, we discovered the disaster that is the transportation system and, conveniently, split costs. They also got us a student discount on tickets to the T. Warriors.

After receiving our tickets, we headed over to the entrance, where, after scanning my ticket, the man asked for my student id. Talk about gut-wrenching. After impulsively telling the man that it was “back there,” I ran to Tyler, who ingeniously suggested that I show my visa. Surprisingly, this worked.

Outside the walls of the museum, Tyler ate his very first pomegranate and we two ladies were approached by merchants, offering to sell us the pelts of foxes and cats…honestly. There were even some that looked a little too much like German shepherds. The museum ended up consuming most of our day, but we still had time to be treated badly at a restaurant, where chopsticks were thrown at us and we were told by a pushy woman, “you get only fish and hotpot.” I passed and went to the hostel, where I ate a salad, pizza, and two chocolate milkshakes. I was in heaven.

The next morning, we reconvened to head over to Moslem Street in the Muslim quarter. I haggled like a pro and was even complimented as a “good shopper” by two of the vendors. I learned that skill from my Mimi. Four of us even got authentic North Face jackets for the equivalent of $30 USD. Here, they sell snacks from meat to fruit to pastries, and we ate plenty. We were even privileged enough to learn how to play Chinese chess when Nacho (Ignacio) bought a set. Loaded down with loot (I love the word "loot"), we went to the Great Mosque, which wasn’t so great. We had a late lunch (plus Dairy Queen) and then headed to the Big Wild Goose Pagoda. After goosin’ around for a while (pictured below), we hopped on a bubble car back to the hostel. This was a catastrophe. Most bubble cars, which are just motorcycles with a small seating cab welded onto them, are quick and dangerous.

Immediately upon departure, we noticed that we had gotten on the single slowest “coco-taxi," as Nacho called them, in China. Fearing for our lives, due to the fact that this was the equivalent of walking in the middle of the road, we tried to lighten the mood by joking that it wasn’t long before an explosion. It wasn’t. Halfway into our trip, there was a loud bang, some grinding, and the sound of an accelerator attempting to move a bike with no chain. Stopped in the street, we were then appalled when we heard a roaring horn and turned around to see a double-decker bus rushing towards us. I started screaming, “Everybody out! Out!," and in a mad dash, hopped off right as the bus flew past, missing the bubble car by inches. Although more terrifying than usual, this isn’t that uncommon, seeing as how in most traffic situations, one can reach out a hand to wipe the dirt off a neighboring car.

We paid the man for most of the trip before he ran away to go pick up various parts that had burst off. We took another bubble car to the Wal-Mart, where we bought Snickers, flashlights, and “Animal Intelligence Biscuits” (aka animal crackers, which included only owls, turtles, and rabbits). We then packed up and headed for the train station. Again, we got on the wrong bus. The driver insisted that the bus did indeed go to the station, but thirty minutes into the ride, he stopped the bus and disappeared. We joked that maybe the bus had broken, too, until we saw him scurrying across six busy lanes of traffic, wildly waving his arms as if a bee were in his jacket. To describe his goofy, small-stepped stride in one word: precious. After waving down two buses, he shuffled back and told us to get on one. This was both endangering our lives and extremely nice of him.

Finally on the packed train, we were heading to Hua Shan. Some facts about trains here: they don’t necessarily take less time than driving, the cars are filled with the haze of cigarette smoke, and , which was to fit six grown people carrying luggage inside. Tone is not guaranteed a seat. So we stood for the 2 hours there, arriving a little past midnight. Although hesitant, we took a taxi for 40 Yuan. This taxi turned out to be a Geo Metro turtle-mobile, which was to fit six grown people carrying luggage inside. The last to get in, as I took a step towards the open door, a Chinese man shoved me out of the way and began goosing Tyler in an attempt to make him scoot over. Once he was satisfied, he pushed me, headfirst, onto the laps of the three men in the backseat. I went from gasping for air from laughing too hard to gasping in fear as the car dodged massive piles of rocks, which were dumped onto the wet road and were hardly visible due to the dense fog. No such factor was going to slow the driver down, though. I eventually just closed my eyes and held on tightly to the seat in front of me. None too soon, upon reaching a locked hotel with, seemingly, nobody inside, we achieved waking up half of the neighborhood with honks, screams, flashing lights, and knocking. We gave up and went to a terribly overpriced hotel at about 1 am. Two of our party headed for the mountain for a nighttime climb, while Jesus, Tyler, and I passed out in our grungy room.

The next morning, I had the sense to stay in bed while Jesus and Tyler left to go climb the steepest mountain in China. Tyler later told me that he had to stop nearly ten times to catch his breath, and seeing as how he never has to take a break, I would have passed out and simply fallen off the cliff...a far more enjoyable act than climbing stairs for the seven hours needed to reach the peak. Unfortunately for me, I had to check out at twelve and sit in the lobby while I waited for Tyler to return. This would have been perfectly fine, had it not been for the fifty year-old manager who sat uncomfortably close to me, told me how unlike most foreigners I am because I am very beautiful, insisted I take off my shoe so he could see the tattoo that he had glimpsed earlier, taken pictures of me and my feet, and who kept asking me details about my sex life. This is shocking, but not unfathomable. Although terribly awkward, I understand that here sex is very hush-hush and after years of being encouraged by the government to abstain from such acts, people here are intrigued, jealous, and fearful of the Western view on sex. Still, it was wildly inappropriate and I couldn’t hide my relief when Tyler walked through the front door. Not to mention, we had three hours to get to the airport, with a two hour train ride and a one hour bus ride ahead of us. Luckily, we had Manager Creep-bag Wang with us to stare at me and help us get on the soonest train.

Again, we were forced to stand on a smoky train for two hours on our way back, but this time in garbage water after a man knocked over the trash can. We were in a mad dash to find the airport shuttle bus, upon leaving the train station. We got on it in the nick of time, but as the driver slowly careened his way through traffic in the rain, we realized we would not make our flight. At the airport, we exchanged our tickets for a flight leaving the next morning, and repeating our acts of the first night, got on the bus heading to the hostel. We got a room, only because they recognized Tyler and because we looked half-drowned and miserable after missing our flight. We took showers and went to eat at a delicious and very inexpensive noodle house and then, despite the frigid temperature, went to Dairy Queen for a second Blizzard. At the hostel, we sat in the restaurant and told our friends what had happened, said our goodbyes (again), and retreated to our room to pass out.

The next day went without a hitch, but any pair of eyes could tell that we were beat down. Yesterday, we taught Thursday’s classes, today we go grocery shopping, and tomorrow we start teaching our regular schedule again. And that’s that.

(Reminder: All China photos available at http://betheeespics.shutterfly.com/ !)